*Except for a weekly "skip-day".
You might remember this post from a while back. Since that time, we have had multiple tests done, talked to lots of doctors, spoken with many people, and offered up countless prayers of healing for Elliot and wisdom for us. It all culminated with the choice to move ahead with growth hormone treatment, and that began today!
Believe it or not, for the past 6 weeks Elliot has been excitedly asking, "When do my shots come?" He has been determined to be brave, not to cry, and he's really excited to grow. Oh, and he may have been ever so slightly looking forward to picking out his very first CARS 2 car. Best 4 bucks I've ever spent!!
Poor Isaiah though...I can see exactly what he's thinking in this moment..."I sure wish I could get a shot so I could pick out a new CARS toy too!"
You may or may not know that growth hormone is incredibly expensive. But I have been absolutely amazed at how God has provided for us in this situation that seemed waaaaay too big for us.A few weeks ago I called the pharmacy and was told that our insurance would cover this, as the need for it is very obvious from all the test results. Then in the next sentence she said that our cost would be $1300 for the first month. Right there I put the whole thing on hold, and called our insurance company. I found out from them that we'd need to come up with over $5000 in the next few months, and when that was met the cost goes down to $30/month.
Thanks to an email and suggestion from my dear aunt Connie, I made a string of phone calls which resulted in talking to a financial assistance program through the drug company. After submitting our proof of income they confirmed that we're eligible for $4000 of aid for the cost of this drug!
I have been astonished ever since! And now I can't stop talking about it. I want to tell everyone I know, so that if you're ever faced with a huge medical situation like this, you can know that there might be help somewhere and it IS worth the stress and hard work of making numerous phone calls to try to find it!!
End of soap box.
So back to today.
Elliot was such a stud. The poor kid has been through the ringer in the past year or so with all of this, and then all kinds of teeth issues on top of it. He has been terrified of shots after all the prodding that he's endured, so even with the little bribe of a new CARS toy, I find it remarkable that he's chosen to be so courageous about the whole thing. There were definitely moments of extreme fear immediately before I stuck the needle in at our training today. And there were many more tears shed than any of us had hoped. But when it was done, he announced with a tear-stained face that it didn't even hurt. For the record, those tears don't diminish his bravery at all in my book.
Last night we put up new growth charts that I recently scored from the library, and measured all the boys. It was great fun, and it will be encouraging for him to see how quickly he shoots up. Unfortunately he thought that we should measure him again tonight, since he had a shot today...I guess it might not seem quite so quick to him.
So tonight I'm feeling really excited for Elliot.And I'm also feeling a bit selfishly conflicted.
While I really believe we're doing the best thing for our son, I realize that part of his growing up--the literal part--has been sort of spared from me.
Long before I ever knew there was something "wrong", I made it a point to never say things to my kids like, "Don't ever grow up"...or make even playful comments that could come across like I would rather them be younger or smaller...but the truth is that I feel that way sometimes. And with Elliot, I've actually gotten to hold onto my small boy much longer than most people get to. His face has barely changed from the time he was a baby, and there's a part of me that will be really sad to see him change so quickly right before my eyes (as is anticipated, if all works as planned.)
Not to mention the clothes and shoes we'll go through in the coming year or two as these are projected to be the years that he does the most catching up. He might even grow 5-6 inches in the first year. I'm used to him wearing the same pair of shoes and clothing for a couple of years! I didn't have much to compare it to, so I didn't realize anything was terribly wrong. Of course knowing what we know now, it all becomes so clear. There's a pair of size 18-month shorts he was still wearing last summer that went straight to Oliver this summer. What's that about hind sight being 20/20?
Things will hopefully start to change very quickly for Elliot. I want that. And yet it will be a little bit hard. I want my child to grow and thrive, yet I don't want to "lose" my little boy. But really, isn't that the case for every parent? With or without a growth-hormone-deficient-child? Of course it is.
So, my dear Elliot, I'm so very proud of you. I'm astounded by your courage and bravery. I want the absolute best for your life, and your health. And I will embrace every day of this growing thing with you. I don't care one bit if you always remain the smallest in your class, but I want you to grow to your fullest potential in every way. I want you to soar. I want you to be confident in who you are, small or big.
And I want to not be so scared of you growing up. I don't want to hold you or your brothers back in any way whatsoever.
I guess I have some growing to do right along with you.
