Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The 1st Anniversary

Yesterday was the first anniversary of mom's death. I can't believe it has been a whole year...it just doesn't seem possible. I guess I thought things would feel 'better' at this point...but it still seems so fresh--like it has just happened, and we're all still trying to figure out what life looks like without her. I realize that over the past year my attention has somewhat shifted...rather than coming to this date and celebrating a year that she has been in heaven, it has been much more somber. Not a celebration at all, just more grieving and the realization that we really do have to figure out how to do this without her in our lives. My heart aches as I live life and go on and miss her terribly. When she passed from this life into her eternal home, it was so much easier to celebrate. The end of suffering and sickness and sin...the beginning of eternity with Jesus in paradise. I sat down to journal yesterday, and it had been a whole year. As I re-read my entry from a year ago, I was blessed with the celebration of heaven, and wanted to share with you.

"My beautiful mom is now free from pain, free from cancer, free from worry or sorrow or sin. She has seen the face of Jesus. She has walked golden streets and she sings again--with all her heart, worshiping her Lord and Savior. Mom died Monday night, Oct 23--just 3 days before her 51st birthday. Her final days were hard, but I think her pain levels were under control. She didn't respond or even open her eyes in those final days. But in her last moments she opened her eyes...dad ran back into the living room from the kitchen, held her hand, and looked straight into those eyes and whispered, 'It's okay...it's okay...' We had been able to have time together as a family around her bed which was in the living room. We all spoke to her, touched her, kissed and hugged her, held her hands and loved on her in those final days. I had flown in on the Tuesday before, so I had almost the whole week with her. Most importantly we worshiped together in that room. I really believe we helped to usher her to the gates of heaven. I imagine mom hearing the voices of her family...faint as we sang through tears "Blessed be the name of the Lord"...and the slow crescendo as she began to hear a multitude of angels joining in that song...and voices from every tribe and nation...and instruments of every kind as she entered the heavenly realms...and then what joy she must have had when her own voice rose up from so deep within her to join in the chorus. After so many months being unable to sing...now her angelic voice shouts the praises of her heart. This is the only thing that makes death bearable--the truth that Jesus saved us and brings us to our heavenly home."

For us, a very hard year, full of pain that comes from losing such an amazing person. For mom, Happy Anniversary. We'll meet you when this life is through--it will be like the blink of an eye, and we'll be home too.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Kim Family Update

Ok, so it has been a whole MONTH since mommy has updated you all on what is going on at my house...so I thought I'd do her a favor while she sleeps...she has been awfully sleepy lately.

First, there is the fact that ever since I turned one and ended all that baby business, I just become more and more of a "handfull" (i'm not quite sure what that means) the older I get. A FUN Handfull, I'm sure. :)

But my mom is so tired that she's been taking naps with me in the afternoon and even at night, when she puts me to bed at the early hour of 7:00 (though sometimes I protest) she seems just as sleepy as me! She used to stay up with Daddy and they had all the fun while I was in bed but now she said she turns into a "pumpkin" around 8 at night. Doesn't help that I wake her up around 5 or 6 in the morning, but it is kinda weird--she is just so sleepy.

I suppose that might be because she said something about a new baby. She eats my crackers for the baby too...sometimes when she looks really sick like she might pass out or throw up, I share my crackers with her so that the baby can have some food and not make my mommy pass out.

I give the baby kisses by going and lifting mommy's shirt and kissing that baby all over her tummy--so wherever that baby is, he or she is sure to get my kisses.

I'm really excited to have a baby brother or sister. Mommy and Daddy just aren't the same as having other kids around to play with and I am definitely a people person, so I can't wait for this tiny little person to enter the world and come and play with me.

Mommy's due date is May 3rd, so we'll be about 21 months apart. I'm not sure if I want a brother or a sister..of course a brother would be really fun and he could wear all my clothes. But a sister would be really cute and fun in a new way, and I could be her protective older brother. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

I just wanted to let all of you know what was going on since my mom was talking about updating this site for over a week now, and I couldn't keep the secret in any longer.

Please pray that mommy gets over her exhaustion and doesn't have too much more nausea (like last night when she almost dropped me because she got so dizzy!) so that she can still play with me and keep my house clean--she hasn't been doing a very good job at that lately since she has to sleep so much.

Well, before I go I would like to show you a couple pictures of me...Don't forget me, and please keep checking this site. I'm gonna get my mom to update every week, at LEAST.

I like to get REALLY Messy when I eat!

And I love to give kisses to the baby in mommy's tummy.


Thanks for reading, everyone!
Love,
Elliot the Big Brother